SKY

What is the purpose of life? I am still questioning myself in the last few days of 2011. Tomorrow is the first day of 2012. What is my next step? Where should I head to? Many uncertainties and I think there is not point keep on thinking. I am losing the strength to move on. I am too eager to look for a change in my life. Reflect my 2011. I worked. I jogged. I swam. I read 3 books. I studied IELTS. I watched many movies and series. I went out with friends. I hike. I dined with family and friends. Many company trips. I stayed alone in the hotel. I went India and met old friends. I went Europe again. This time in western Europe. Met new friends. I lay lazily on the couch and did nothing - thinking and dreaming. I played few songs. Talked to my mum and sisters, learned how to cook some dishes from my mum. Listened to many songs. I cried. I was nervous. I rejected someone. Coached new staff. Taught my students and prepared them for exams. Lost my passion in work and found it ag...

昨天一直在想：为什么他会来到我们的身边？然后再想深一层，为什么他会出现在这个世界上?他是一个生命，而生命是怎么来的?如果单纯的只是精子和卵子的故事，他又是怎么从一只狗，变成了独一无二的SeanSean? 他曾经被我抱在怀里，轻轻抚摸，也被我们打骂过。我还曾训练他。 这世界上有很多狗，也有很多这种狗。我不能再买一只一模一样的狗，再怎么相似，也不是他了。生命是不能替代的。他的存在真的真的不是必然的。 而我，我为什么在这里？我这生命又是为了让谁觉得不可替代呢？ 这辈子认识无数的人，每一个都和我擦肩而过。又有谁为我停留？我又能为谁停留呢？那也只有我的家人咯。独一无二的家人，没有了，再怎么惋惜和遗憾，失去了就不会回来。

20 December 2011 is a day to remember. Sean passed away today in the morning. He had been with us in the past 9 years. Shared many moments with us, went through many big events in my life. He followed us from one house to another,when we moved 2 times in the past 9 years. Last Wednesday was the last time I saw him in health before I left home to work and away for training for 2 days. When I got back from training, I did not realize that he is sick until my sister told me. I was too upset with my work and hiding in my own world. We brought him to vet and he did not want to move nor walk. I carried him into the car. He was so heavy. Then he looked fine, walked a little while in the clinic. The next day when I came back from the language course, he was sent to ward. Visited him on Sunday. He looked at me sadly in the cage. Called him many times, but he did not response nor moved closer to us. Yesterday, I was too occupied with work and totally forgot him. Never thought he is going to ...

夫复何求呢? 能吃到想吃的, 能做想做的, 能和最爱的家人朋友一起度过,  分享生活的喜悦忧愁, 还有 无尽的支持祝福和鼓励 ～ 当你怀疑幸福在哪 里？你可能就已经活在 当中！！

最近一直在思考感情上的事。到底自己怎么了？如果可以找到一个一起分享的人，那有多好啊！一个可以让我担心和关心的人。哈，我吃不完的可以给他，还可以煮难吃的食物和他一起吃。他有困难，我希望我的拥抱可以给他力量。我的爱让他温暖。 不要想如果那个人的存在，他可以带我去做什么，或怎样怎样。我想要的，想做的就应该自己去做吧！那才是爱自己的表现。爱一个人，就是想要付出吧 - 但是不要要求他也给我同样的关注和爱。因为我有能力爱自己，所以才可以爱他。