世界末日

昨天年初三又随妈妈和其他亲戚一起北上到美冷新村。这次比上回早到许多，十点已经坐在表姨妈的家。十一点就把午餐吃进肚子。然后又到另两家拜年去了。奇怪今年少了一家。妈妈说那家的老人家已经去世了。好突然啊！怎么会呢？
说是老婆生病走了，隔没多久老公出车祸也跟着走了。
我想到去年才见的老人家，双双在一年内逝世了。就这样，在我没有察觉的情况下消失。
前一年，我才在部落格上叮咛自己要珍惜和家乡的亲戚们相聚的时刻。才两年的光景，我们已经失去了两位联系着我们这家和他们那家的长辈。况且，我妈妈这一辈又和他们家的同辈交情疏远。从此，我们就失去了到他们家拜年的理由。
世界末日来临的这一年，我除了要更爱自己的家人以外，更应该好好的爱自己。

Yesterday was the third day of Chinese New Year. I went north with my mum and other relatives to Behrang, my mum's hometown. We arrived quite early this time. We were at Aunt's home (mother's cousin) by ten in the morning. Had our lunch at eleven and then visited two more relatives. Suspicious that we did not go to this relative's house. Why weren't we visiting them this year? I was told that both the husband and wife had passed away last year! Surprise to hear that! What happened to them?

I was told that the wife sick and passed away, and not long, the husband met a deadly accident.

I couldn't believe it. I visited them last year. Both looked healthy and happy. Not aware that they were gone. It is just within 2 years after I blogged about the precious moment I had with the relatives. With their passing, we lost the connection with this family. Moreover, my mum and the cousin (from this family) has never been closed to each other. Since then, we lost the reasons in visiting them.

I would love my family and myself more as if the world was ending.

聚会

今天见到了18年没见的小学同学。看着大家济济一堂有说有笑的，煞是融洽，可是比以前读书时更加热闹了。这么久没联络了，虽然朝着不同的方向前进，可是大家都还健健康康的，也还好好活着。

我心里还蛮感动的。笑着的当儿，眼眶湿湿的。
有多少的缘分才让我们认识然后又重逢。30岁了，还能奢望什么呢。
只求明年再见到这班老同学，他们还是开开心心的携伴带眷的一起来聚会。

2012

What is the purpose of life? I am still questioning myself in the last few days of 2011.
Tomorrow is the first day of 2012. What is my next step? Where should I head to?
Many uncertainties and I think there is not point keep on thinking.
I am losing the strength to move on. I am too eager to look for a change in my life.

Reflect my 2011. I worked. I jogged. I swam. I read 3 books. I studied IELTS. I watched many movies and series. I went out with friends. I hike. I dined with family and friends. Many company trips. I stayed alone in the hotel. I went India and met old friends. I went Europe again. This time in western Europe. Met new friends. I lay lazily on the couch and did nothing - thinking and dreaming. I played few songs. Talked to my mum and sisters, learned how to cook some dishes from my mum. Listened to many songs. I cried. I was nervous. I rejected someone. Coached new staff. Taught my students and prepared them for exams. Lost my passion in work and found it again in work. I was promoted. Cooked with friends and laughed together with them. Drunk. Shot many photos. I started French.

2012 Resolution
1) Clear all debts
2) Be organized and discipline.
3) Exercise everyday.
4) Read a book every month
5) Watch TV less, much lesser.

I don't want to lose myself. I don't want to surrender to reality.

独一无二

昨天一直在想：为什么他会来到我们的身边？然后再想深一层，为什么他会出现在这个世界上?他是一个生命，而生命是怎么来的?如果单纯的只是精子和卵子的故事，他又是怎么从一只狗，变成了独一无二的SeanSean?
他曾经被我抱在怀里，轻轻抚摸，也被我们打骂过。我还曾训练他。
这世界上有很多狗，也有很多这种狗。我不能再买一只一模一样的狗，再怎么相似，也不是他了。生命是不能替代的。他的存在真的真的不是必然的。
而我，我为什么在这里？我这生命又是为了让谁觉得不可替代呢？
这辈子认识无数的人，每一个都和我擦肩而过。又有谁为我停留？我又能为谁停留呢？那也只有我的家人咯。独一无二的家人，没有了，再怎么惋惜和遗憾，失去了就不会回来。