hate me, for this moment

这一刻，讨厌这个我。
内心满是厌恶，讨厌现在的我。
因为知道他，所以更厌恶他。正如他以为，我就是笨蛋，一个假装笨蛋的我。
就假装看不见，让他以为赢了。
就让他以为我是笨蛋。
反正我就是可以选择做笨蛋-因为他不值得我去说明白。
只讨厌自己一刻。

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts @ ICAAP

1) It was my 5th day at Bali. The conference was great. It gave me some times to think about the project that I am currently handling and some ideas on where the project should direct to and how to work on it. I couldn't have done that if I continue to stay at the office. Too much works and I was doing for the sake of finishing it. 2) I met an American lady at the conference when waiting bus at the drop-off place. Yeah, another American lady... She is lovely and talkative. She works at Hanoi, Vietnam and has been working there for more than 10 years. She told me a lot about her life, from internship at Fiji, studying at Uni Hawaii, working at Thailand, Switzerland, so on ...... and how she met her husband. She said a lady like her, who is so independent and mobilize, would not think of marriage or meeting a guy. Unexpected, she met her husband at Vietnam, who was working there too. The most wonderful part was that her husband came from the same area as she was. Just few years ago,...
Go for More

July's sky - High Humidity

I was in a plane. I fall asleep. He was in my dream again. May be it is me who wants to meet him again. But, I know we will never go back. Traveled too often in July. Was alone to Bangkok. Sometimes, I cannot stand traveling alone. After many travels, I thought I should have get used to it. I supposed I have not changed - I'm still the girl who afraid of loneliness. I remember what he said: I'm not what I think I am. Perhaps, it is true. I traveled to Sabah for a training with new colleague and trainers. Seeing young faces, it makes me happy. Once again, they said I looked young. Many times, people have said this to me. At that time, I was not sure whether I'm still living with a heart as young as them. After back from India, I know I'm not. I am somehow, have turned into a selfish adult, a coward or an idiot. May be I know myself too perfectly, to hide my imperfectness behind these young eyes. Should I not admit this? In my memories, I still remember the girl who...
Go for More

周王梦蝶，还是蝶梦周王

我的梦中有很多人，很多颜色，但只有一架升降梯。 我们在这升降梯的前面，都在等着。 等了许久，来了。 当升降梯的门打开后，却没有人愿意踏进去。每个人左顾右盼，我觉得很奇怪：为什么大家都不进去呢？我心里存有疑问，也不敢踏进去。 突然，一个人走进去。门关了，指示灯标示着19楼。哦，原来这里这么高！ 这时，大家开始议论。好勇敢啊，他们说。 我问他们：到底怎么一回事？他们说：谁先进去谁先死，然后我们才可以……仿佛是必须有人牺牲，大家才可以到达目的地。 到底他/她知道吗？ 话才刚说完，升降梯像断了线的风筝，从19楼往下坠。天啊，他不就摔死吗？我很着急。 这时，我在心里开始默念：不要掉下来不要死！！！！！一次比一次快，心一次比一次纠结。好像在和它赛跑。突然，周围的景色开始旋转，像物星转移。我置身在七彩颜色的漩涡中，煞是漂亮。 那一瞬间，一切停顿，然后恢复正常。 升降梯的门打开，那个人走出来。安全了，我想。 此刻，所有的人若无其事的走进升降梯，好像没发生任何事一般。 升降梯的梯绳没断，里面的那个人没从19楼掉下来。 我从梦中清醒了，得到了难于言寓的真理。 （坚持一件事，努力不懈的完成，而且坚信会成功，那过程将如七彩的颜色令人非常愉快）
Go for More