SKY

启程回归黄土，那是人生的另一道门。 这场戏让我想起了父亲。戏里主角与父亲30年里不曾相见，早已忘了父亲的样子。他一直不肯原谅抛弃他的父亲，可是又把和父亲的回忆牢牢的记在心里。 直到父亲去世了，他来到父亲的住所，见着了却认不得。在释怀的那一刻，才记起了当年父亲的模样。 戏外我与父亲不见7-8年了，对他的印象停留在那蓝色校裙上。我问自己：是不是要等到他百年后，才愿意见他？原谅他？ 我的眼泪又掉了，在戏院里。

昨天发生了很多不愉快的事。幸好我有朋友兼同事的陪伴和关心。 这一路走来，遇到的人和事，这些人的虚伪，我一一看在眼里。 不想同流合污。可是，偏偏每天都要面对他们。 刚开始，我天真的以为，只要忍一忍，走一步见一步，心存善意就会见到如来。 不过，想要维新，还真不容易呢。 终究，自尊心和自信心破损，变成可怜的唠叨鬼。 妹妹曾说过一段恋人的故事给我听。有一对恋人，女的很忙，常常在公司加班到深夜；男的为了她的安全，也为了和她有更多的时间相处，常常会陪伴这女的加班。男的只是静静地，在一旁做自己的事。 这样的男生，我绝得非常难得。他愿意为了她付出宝贵的时间，有多少个能做到呢。 可，我没想到我也有这样的机会，让一个男生陪我在公司加班。两件事的原委不一样，可是，这样的陪伴，足以让我感动。因为啊，像我这般坚毅的女生，有多少个男生觉得有这个必要呢？殊不知，坚强的女生比一般人更需要关怀。 刚刚一封很长的短讯，让我感动了好久。 一连两次的感动，该怎么办呢？眼浅的我被他弄哭了。 字句里的支持和哲理，虽然很一般，我向来都很明白，只是从来没有人这样正面的告诉我。 身为长女，我从小到大都表现的很懂事。这些哲理，大家都认为我不需要被告知。 我学会了，都被我用来安慰朋友了。 这份感动，我会记在心里。 人生吗，就是由这些小小细腻的感动组成的。

I want to believe in myself - no matter what other people tell me, no matter what they say. thinking too much has always been my problem. Sometimes, it is good - it gives me another minute of thought before action. But sometimes, I lose a chance of moving forward. I think a lot, probably because I do no believe in myself. I always doubt on myself - and today I read it on newspaper - people who head towards maturity - will always doubt on her/his own decision and values. Erm, could it be? I'm too matured? gagagaga I doubt so... If I do not care what the people think, and what they feel, probably I'll be more successful.

Finally, after long struggle, I've decided to drop the twins. I had been teaching them for almost 1 year. They didn't improve at all. Their only task in the lesson was to make me angry and get away from the tuition. All the lessons ended up with anger and I was overwhelmed by frustration. I'm a result-oriented person and always clear about what I want to do and look for ways to achieve it. I've been forgiving them again and again after what they've done to me. It seems like their parents have pampered them too much. The twins give all kinds of excuses to explain why they make me angry. The parents will call me and explain on behalf of them. Then, they will apologize with sms and I will have lesson with them. Again, they will do something to make me angry. 80% of the lessons ended up unhappily and without any learning result. I'm happy ~ finally I'm released.