July's sky - High Humidity
I was in a plane. I fall asleep. He was in my dream again. May be it is me who wants to meet him again. But, I know we will never go back.
Traveled too often in July. Was alone to Bangkok. Sometimes, I cannot stand traveling alone. After many travels, I thought I should have get used to it. I supposed I have not changed - I'm still the girl who afraid of loneliness. I remember what he said: I'm not what I think I am. Perhaps, it is true.
I traveled to Sabah for a training with new colleague and trainers. Seeing young faces, it makes me happy. Once again, they said I looked young. Many times, people have said this to me. At that time, I was not sure whether I'm still living with a heart as young as them. After back from India, I know I'm not. I am somehow, have turned into a selfish adult, a coward or an idiot. May be I know myself too perfectly, to hide my imperfectness behind these young eyes. Should I not admit this?
In my memories, I still remember the girl who likes to cry. Detach myself from any emotions is easy as long as I don't think about my feelings and other people's feelings. Just like what I did in India. But, I felt sorry for some of them after that. How could I be so cruel to them since I understand their lives perfectly well?
India's weather was hot. Malaysia too. The sky needs some rains.
Traveled too often in July. Was alone to Bangkok. Sometimes, I cannot stand traveling alone. After many travels, I thought I should have get used to it. I supposed I have not changed - I'm still the girl who afraid of loneliness. I remember what he said: I'm not what I think I am. Perhaps, it is true.
I traveled to Sabah for a training with new colleague and trainers. Seeing young faces, it makes me happy. Once again, they said I looked young. Many times, people have said this to me. At that time, I was not sure whether I'm still living with a heart as young as them. After back from India, I know I'm not. I am somehow, have turned into a selfish adult, a coward or an idiot. May be I know myself too perfectly, to hide my imperfectness behind these young eyes. Should I not admit this?
In my memories, I still remember the girl who likes to cry. Detach myself from any emotions is easy as long as I don't think about my feelings and other people's feelings. Just like what I did in India. But, I felt sorry for some of them after that. How could I be so cruel to them since I understand their lives perfectly well?
India's weather was hot. Malaysia too. The sky needs some rains.
I become too emotional when I am in India, never be like that in Japan though. I don't need to detach from my feeling there. It is good thing for me, can feel free.
ReplyDeleteYour one of great parts is keeping smile, even if you think it means hiding your feeling. I remember many people liked this point of yours in Ukraine, and my bf also liked it. hehe At least, I cannot patient my feeling and I should learn from you.
Thanks Kaori. I'll keep on smiling :))))
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